When Someone cheat saying ‘..it just happened'
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I have no idea why I have taken this title to write; simply I can say that I am sharing what is happening in his life. Today he heard someone saying "I am always with you, loving you, can’t even imagine living without you but….it just happened, not intentional". He heard the whole tale feeling as it was cheating on him but still undecided if he still love and long for, who often play with emotions.
Today when i visited him, he was sitting before her Portrait hanging on front wall of his room. Memories of the past were occupying his thoughts and he was simply wandering without any destination. A long relation had so many things where they stood together facing the whole world. I felt, he still feels her presence in his heart and soul.
Love is certainly something where you can’t think logically. Being logical, we can say that things just don't happen without reason but in love, big things happens and turn fate other way. He still loves her, as his heart is not accepting what his logics are suggesting. He still believes that love is more than anything logical. I also agree that we may not have any reason but still we can love someone with heart and soul.
Is it really so easy to say ‘Let’s start again’? I heard him saying that he is not able to gather sufficient courage to stand and say ‘I don’t bother my dear as I simply love you’. But his eyes are always promising that he will be there waiting for her some day, if felt that she really needed him. He was whispering, ‘I will not ask why you cheated me’.
He was remembering moments when he was expecting few words blended with all love and concern but heard ‘Jaan I did mistake’. Few words stunned his whole existence. He felt like losing the whole world. ‘Why it was done to me’, the simple question struck his mind. He never believed that things happen without reason. I feel, he still have not enough courage to ask why it happened ?
Here I am not putting any question on ethics. I believe in more open and free relations. Everybody has right to live happily and if someone choose to see happiness in someone different, what is wrong. We can say it unethical if it hurts someone’s feelings but life always move for better ones. And I still dare to say that Happiness is certainly big thing in life.
I tried to convince him when he met me today, while I was crossing mirror of my bed room but he is not listening, perhaps not ready to see reality. He is still repeating 'her' words, “Jaan, I love you but ‘it just happened”.
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I've read that a lot of trust issues in new relationships (by which I mean, mistrusting someone when they haven't done anything to lose your trust — not mistrusting someone who is a repeat offender) really have to do with insecurity on the part of the trust-less person.
@Sweetie. Thank you so much for stopping by and reading.I agree with you where you say no reason in good enough to cheat.
Cheating usually happens to people who are not seriously invested in their relationship- perhaps they want an escape and have even thought about it at least one time before they actually cheat. It's a selfish act and no excuse. Some couples can through it but I bet they are never better off or stronger for it no matter what they say. Great topic!
It is always sad when someone is hurt. Many of us are hurt in the way you have described here in your writing. The heart sees what it chooses, and leaves out the rest. We love what is imperfect. If we did not, then no one would be loved.
I truly enjoyed reading this article. It is sad when people cheat on their mates. There is so much of that going on in the world today, due to a true lack of genuine love. May we never be the person cheating on our mate because Almighty God sees everything and in the end regardless of what we do, we must answer for it.
A realistic topic. But the mantra of a healthy relationship is "don't ditch your partner". Care for the person who loves you. There is no middle path in love.
My husband is my best friend. While the "honeymoon" is over with and that grandiose feeling of "being in love" is gone, I love him. We have grown together as friends, not just as lovers. Therefore, I can't even think of betraying my husband and going to the arms of another man.
So many people in this day and age don't even care about the vows they took when married, and care only about self-gratification. What I mean is that once the "honeymoon" for them is over with, they start grazing new pastures, and stop tending the one they live on.
Such a heart felt article Jaspals.
Relations need care and support when anyone in relation feel ignored and neglected,They take wrong steps.Though the vows are strong bond of proof that they belong to one another.But every women have some dreams and ever man has same way certain dreams in mind for the relation.Which are when not full filled they try to take escape from relation.Well your topic has emphasized on deep insight.
Keep Writting Sir...
Cheating never "just happens". Once those that do it, do it, it's very easy to say that because somehow it free's them from the guilt. But really, it's nothing more than a cop out. Have some self controll! If there are problems with in one's relationship, then either discuss them, get couples counseling, and if all fails then, end the relationship. But cheating is just... well cheating. It's a selfish means of temporary satisfaction. Great hub! Voted up
Jaspal, very well said. One cheats and then says that it just happened. So easily said by the one who cheats but imagine what must be going on in the mind and heart of the one who is cheated?
If we humans just think how our actions would hurt the opposite person we might just not do it.
voted up and awesome.
Cheating happens because the 'cheater' wants it to. It happens for a reason. Those people who do it and say "it just happened" are simply out of words to describe their ambivalence or confusion. Some of my friends who had been in the same situation, being the ones who cheated, say that it was also hard in their part. It is because there comes their intent not to jeopardize the relationship or hurt the feelings of their partner, but still, they do it. And most of them admit for some selfish reasons.
Maybe the reason why I don't write about love or things like this is because I find no words to which my readers can relate or seek refuge. Am a no good at these things, though I am in love for almost four years now. That's when I admire you for writing on this very sensitive topic. You provoke your readers to think and ask questions which is why most of us here took the time to comment. And not everyone can do that. :D
Voted up for this beautiful and heart-felt hub. :D
Dear thesingernurse. I greatly appreciate your reading my article and adding your valuable comments.
I think that relationships are all too often put under strain when people are forced for one reason or another to live apart. Relationships need stability to grow. Then on top of that there is loneliness and confusion, the pain of separation. Very difficult topic indeed. Hard not to: judge.
Things like this don't just happen! It takes two people consenting and agreeing and wanting each other for it to just happen! She should be honest and tell him she erred by wanting another man! Our morals tell us cheating is wrong and someone always gets hurt! If a person wants another sexually then they should close one door then open the next! Nobdoy should do this to another human being. Some people are all about "self" and would keep doing their thing if not for getting caught! Once someone cheats, statistics prove that more than likely, most of the time they will do it again and again!
Dawnemars & Libby. Thanks a lot for adding your valuable comment to it.
sweetie1 11 months ago
Jaspals cheating never happens, you do it with full intentions of cheating and knowing very well what can happen if found out. So if a person is ready for it then only he or she should cheat otherwise be good to your partner. No reason is good enough to cheat.